Friday, August 24, 2012

Dota 2 24th August Patch - New Hero

I'll be taking over until Cyborgmatt stops working on 6.75 comes back from vacation.

Zooming and enhancing the secret files this week, I was able to find a new hero concept. Put your hands together for the ferocious:

Finolius, Shittiest of Wizards

"Deep in the mountains of  Shitania, Finolius was a nobleman, who managed "The Gobins:" a small, indie polka band with a dedicated fanbase. Soon after, problems started arising. Accordions became de-tuned, people started realizing flaws in the polka band and began complaining. Finolius became a scapegoat for all these complaints, everyone was blaming him for all the problems of the band. Finolius turned angry, and vengeful. He decided he would build up hype in the band's fanbase until everyone was eager to see what came next. Then, at the next concert, he unveiled his polka band, new and improved. Their new name was "The Keen," and they played the best polka any of the fans had ever heard. However, the music was so good that many fans had forgotten to breathe, suffocating them, and thus giving Finolius his revenge."

Q - Summon Wizard-ites 

Summons two mini wizards to fight for Finolius. Level 2-4 wizards have Critical Strike, and level 4 wizards have permanent invisibility.

W - Squeal 
Grants bonus damage to Finolius, all allied heroes, and all units under their control.

E - Shitty Impulse 
Increases the damage and attack speed of Finolius and all units under his control.

R - Shapeshit 
Finolius assumes his true form, increasing his combat capabilities. During Shapeshit, Finolius and all units under his control move at maximum speed and cannot be slowed.

With luck, we should see this hero sometime in the middle of the International 2.

Predictions for the Next Hero:
I predict an IceFrog hero, with a global ultimate that buffs the stats of all the carries in the match by 2x.


  1. is it supposed to be funny?

    well congratulation, it's as funny as being fucked in the ass by a Void in a cronosphere.

    1. Then you sir have a weird sense of humor, because i can't see how a void butf*cking you with a chrono can be funny!

  2. wtf where is real stuff im tired of this shit! seriously!